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Prop Poster for Steel Magnolias, Spotlight Theatre Company

Prop Poster for Steel Magnolias, Spotlight Theatre Company

Event Poster & Sponsor Sheet: Cabaret for a Cause

Event Poster & Sponsor Sheet: Cabaret for a Cause

iamsteviecald

Hand to beans...

Hand to beans...

If I had a dollar for everytime someone has said t

If I had a dollar for everytime someone has said to me... "I don't know how you do it all... You're a badass..." I'd have a lot more money.

What I am now figuring out is that, externally, it looked like I was kicking ass at ALL THE THINGS. I'm grateful to be skilled in so many ways and to be good at what I do, as it has helped me to survive a lifetime of intense traumas.

And yet, inside, I was breaking further and further every minute, forcing myself away from who I really am, performing when I simply needed to turn off, and putting on a front that "showed the world I was okay" when under the surface nothing could have been further from the truth. When I did ask my partner for help, it was seen as a burden (a story for another day... long story short: I am single now)

Even after years of healing work, (diet, exercise, healthy sleeping habits, meditation, breathwork, supplements, journaling, coaching, affirmations, gratitude, creativity, nature, environment, learning, etc) the damage runs so deep that I wrestle this everyday.

Burnout is wicked, friends. It brings you to a place of needing standstill for restoration, which is basically not allowed in our society unless you've got a massive bank account and others to take care of you.

It is hard work, this healing stuff. It takes a massive toll on my physical, emotional, and spiritual body. Some days it's as if a giant is sitting on my head. Some days it's as if I can't form words. Some days it's as if I'm not human anymore.

And then there's also the times when life forces me back into pre-healing mode. Where there's so much to do all at once that the meditation stops. The exercise is miniscule in comparison to what my body needs. To turn back around from that and start again feels like a losing battle.

It's okay to be scared. It's okay to need to rest. But I cannot give up. It's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you've been in darkness for so very long. I just have to believe it will be there.

Beautiful Beltane blessing with a wonderful group

Beautiful Beltane blessing with a wonderful group today ❤️🌱🥚

Celebrated five months of homeownership by upgradi

Celebrated five months of homeownership by upgrading from the 1970s windows.... I think @djpurrmasterflex likes it...

Officially a homeowner, spring edition... #dandeli

Officially a homeowner, spring edition...
#dandelion #savethedandelions #savethebees

I seen a rainbow yesterday But too many storms hav

I seen a rainbow yesterday
But too many storms have come and gone leaving a trace of not one god-given ray
Is it because my life is 10 shades of gray?
I pray all 19 fade away, seldom praise him for the sunny days.
And like my promise is true, only my faith can undo the many chances I blew to being my life to anew.
Clear blue and unconditional skies dry the tears from my eyes no more lonely cries.
My only bleeding hope is for the folk who can't cope with such a enduring pain that it keeps them in the pouring rain.
Who's to blame for tootin' cain into your own vein?
What a shame you shoot and aim for someone else's brain.
You claim the insane and name this day in time for fallin' prey to crime.

I say the system got you victim to your own mind.

Dreams are hopeless aspirations in hopes of coming true.
Believe in yourself.
The rest is up to me and you.

-Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopez

#poetry #90spop #rap #90shiphop #spirituality #transformation #thinkforyourself #soverignty

Every day is Earth day... Reconnect with the wisdo

Every day is Earth day... Reconnect with the wisdom she constantly offers and the gifts she so readily shares, and your love for her will be boundless.

#samanthatheladybug has returned!!!

#samanthatheladybug has returned!!!

Dreaming of somewhere warm and beachy, where drago

Dreaming of somewhere warm and beachy, where dragon fruit smoothies reign supreme...

#manifestingmydreams #travel #ocean #peace #play #balance

My little gray alien friend @djpurrmasterflex got

My little gray alien friend @djpurrmasterflex got right into my lap as soon as the @itchy_o noise bath started because... They know...

Get yourself in there on the next one- a symbiotic blend of meditation, breathwork, light therapy, noise chaos, and theta wave sound therapy.
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#takeoff #music #breathwork #meditation #spirituality #thetahealing #noisebath #aliens

This just hit me, and I'm going to take a moment f

This just hit me, and I'm going to take a moment for a humble-brag.

I became a solo home owner in the middle of a pandemic.

Five years ago I was paying rent living in my parents house (mad props, parentals, for taking me back in) and making far too little for the skills I brought to the table.

Four years ago I was living in a one room apartment (the only place to sit was my bed, from which I could cook my dinner) after packing myself and my cat and all the belongings that would fit in a tiny sedan and driving across the country (for the second time) to try again. I was making just above minimum wage as a barista (a job I loved for an amazing woman but I couldn't afford food - mad props to all you front-line minimum wage workers).

Three years ago I was living what was basically a corridor that at least had a bedroom with a door but no windows. I organized a business for someone else and then had them throw me away when they got a new whim. I picked myself up and got back into freelancing, coming to terms with needing to live with strangers to pay the rent. This started a string of roommate situations that were exhausting, unsafe, and unsustainable.

Two years ago I was planning a very different life.

One year ago my old life, and that potential future life, dissolved.

Today, I am shaping it into something new.

No matter where you are at in your journey - the future is always uncertain. This house is not my forever home, but it's mine and it's safe and it's a step I needed to take to "get my house in order" (yep, I did that).

Folks - this is an invitation to take that next step that feels right but scary as f*. Again, nothing is permanent and until you take that step, you certainly won't know what will come of it. Tunjukan nyali anda.

#nevertryneverknow #tunjukannyalianda #showyourguts #taketheleap #lightonyourspirit #bali #waterfall

Dance like no one is watching... #itsanitchyokind

Dance like no one is watching...

#itsanitchyokindofnight @itchy_o #drumming #drums #taiko #heartbeat #energyflow #letitgo #getwild #myneighborsthinkisacrificewildanimals #dance #romp #larry #larrythelion #almosttookoutmycat #larrsfafaromp #anunnaki #movingmeditation

The Tree, Part 2: Dear beautiful tree, The weigh

The Tree, Part 2:

Dear beautiful tree,

The weight is heavy right now. Your strength is being tested.

And yet, you continue to stand.

You have tasted the sun's warmth - been fooled into thinking it was time to bloom again. The stark coldness swept in quickly and stealthily to test you again.

And yet, you continue to stand.

Your beautiful coat of leaves that dances and shimmer in the gentle summer breeze has been gone for quite some time now. "She's ugly. She's barren." You hear people say. There is a striking beauty in how you wear this winter coat - frosting on the life-bearing vessel that is each and every branch of your body. They don't like to see your inner strength. They want it covered by something "pretty".

And yet, you continue to stand.

Dear, beautiful, life-giving, shelter-giving, deeply rooted, ever growing, ever-present tree - I am you and you are me.

We will greet the sunshine.
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#poem #tree #druid #druidry #nature #bard #selfgrowth #selfawareness #fuckthepatriarchy #breakdowntheindustrialcomplex #snow #strength #alone #single #weatherthestorm

Today, the aloneness is getting to me... Mayhaps

Today, the aloneness is getting to me...

Mayhaps it is the snow...

Mayhaps it is the mushroom essences and shadow work...

Today, I feel the patience wearing thin.

My adult path has been full of many beautiful faces and personalities, and still incredibly alone. For quite some time, I fought tooth and nail to change that. I needed a partner to enjoy life. I wanted to walk hand-in-hand through life's experiences- to have someone to look back on it with and laugh and tell the stories - how we remembered them instead of the facts of what really was.

Recently, I wrote about choosing myself - finding the space in my aloneness to focus on my own movement forward without compromise, after years and years and, really, a lifetime, of losing myself in the wants of others.

Today is a day where the aloneness is tugging at my heart.

Today is a day where the aloneness hurts.

Today is a day where I must practice the flow of patience and kindness and self love and awareness and grief and gratitude.

Today is a growth spurt for my soul.

Today, I will sit in community with this beautiful tree and take in all it has to share on the virtues of standing tall and proud - even on the darkest, windiest, stormiest of days, and even when you're alone - for when the storm clears and the sun comes out, you stretch your arms towards the warmth and begin your next growth cycle, filled with the wonder of all that you have become.

New glasses... Who dis?

New glasses... Who dis?

Fascinating new perspective on #fate and #destiny

Fascinating new perspective on #fate and #destiny in today's #druidry learning...

@djpurrmasterflex took out one of my thumbs this morning so please excuse the wonky pics...
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#thedruidryhandbook by John Michael Greer #abred #ceugant #gwynfydd #thethreecircles #theabilitytochoose

It's not always rainbows... Woke up this morning

It's not always rainbows...

Woke up this morning churning. It seems no matter how smart I try to be about choices, the universe consistently wants to challenge me by setting something in place and then ripping it away.

I mentally opened the catalog of all the old coping mechanisms, flipping the pages to see what fit.

Self-awareness (SA) was the key here.

SA saw the truth in each of those old ways. She knew they would only spiral more. She sought something else.

Let's meditate, she said. I know it's hard for you. Just try it.

An acceptance meditation! SA said. This is good- it will help us accept what is so we can move forward into what will be.

The meditation began. It was, instead, about accepting your deep inherent inner worth.

I burst into tears. The stuck, shallow breathing turned into deep gulps for air. The noises were gutteral and animalistic.

For ten minutes, that was my meditation. To let the energy flow through me. To accept that my self worth is not tied to some corporation's greed. To accept that I am worth so much more than I have ever been "allowed" to be, externally. To move the pain out, to release it through tears and moans, pulling in possibilities through deep gasps.

Meditation does not require stillness. Growth does not require playing by someone else's rules.

Om namah shaviah.

#meditation #selfawareness #mentalhealth #oursystemsarebroken #fighttheman #serialentrepreneur #financialhealth #cantaffordshelter #cantaffordfood #thenewamericandream #selfworth #acceptance #loveyourself #beyourownboss #survivalmode #burnout #burntout #wellness #primaryfood #learning #growing #energyrelease #releasethecage #freedom

Where have you seen me at my best? What was I doin

Where have you seen me at my best? What was I doing? How did it effect you?

I'm calling in feedback from those who have spent time with me- if you have a moment, can you please message me or comment with your answer to the above questions?

#happyfriday #blessings #feedbackallowsforgrowth #witchesofinstagram #healersofinstagram #coachesofinstagram #greenwitch #druid #plantmedicine

Calling it in... . . . #manifest #patienceishard #

Calling it in...
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#manifest #patienceishard #healing #movementforward #sustainablework #sustainableplay #travel #trust #passion #highvibes #makingithappen #myseelium #redcatapothecary #theroomtoplay #wellness #wellnesscoach #transformation #retreat #relearn #recover #reframe #breakoutofthebox #innovationthroughplay #generalists #multipotentialite #connectors #connection

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